On being a man

I do not understand why some men seem to think that John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are the epitome of what it means to be a "man??" Sure, "the man with no name" is a cool character, but that's about it: a character.

I'll tell you what gets me started on this everytime I see it - and it annoys the heck out of me!!

Whenever I get started on some sort of labourious activity with some other guy, not every guy, but enough of them to piss me off, he seems to think that speaking gruff, grunting, looking grim, and even working aggressively (as if the job isn't going to get done without him) is the way to prove that you're a man. Another test of thier "man-hood" seems to be the habit of using short sentences and speaking abruptly when they are working with another man. It almost seems that if they could compare thier "extremety" with other men, they would. I wonder if they have ever realized that it's not the size of thier "part" that counts, but how they move. They seem to forget that being an upstanding man has more to do with such ideals as "virtue" and "integrity" than with which "leg" they're standing on.

As a Catholic, I am compelled to admire the lives and attitudes of such men as St. Francis Xavier and St. Joseph, who were not afraid to work hard, stand strong, and stay true to what is pure and just, while they were threatened with adversity. Above all, they were not afraid to love without limits, admit their weaknesses, forgive others, and allow themselves to be considered last among men if it meant glorifying God in their service.

Above all, Jesus - the source of all that we cherish as central to our humanity - the true man, the one with a name. He knew what He was about, He knew what He wanted, and He knew what it meant to be a man. He healed and nourished countless people with His boundless love, and He spoke the truth, no matter how difficult it was for Him to speak, or for us to hear. He continues to meet each person in their broken and frail humanity, and invite them to transform thier lives into something that is life-giving and freeing.

The more we model our lives around the caricatures of society, the more we will find ourselves seeking our true identity, and looking for whatever will make us happy, in a relentless and unsatisfied search. In the immortal words of the late Pope John Paul II, "by knowing and loving God, men and women may also come to the fullness of truth about themselves" (Faith and Reason, 1998).

What are we going to do? Will we be nameless men and wander about on dusty trails, in an unforgiving search for man-hood? Or will we make an attempt to meet Jesus our Christ -- who is not only a model for masculinity, but also its source.